OK – I’ll admit it! I am depressed.
But who can blame me. It’s been very rough lately.
I do realise that just yesterday my post was positive, but I just know that this is how my depression must be dealt with. I must get myself up and going before I fall into the deep hole I know so well.
I have lots of experience with depression. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 16 and put on prozac. Since then I have experienced the ups and downs of depression many times. I am and have been on Fluoxetine for a long long time, and believe me I have tried to come off it but I just land up in the same place – depressed. In the pit of blackness where nothing seems exciting and the world is full of gloom and doom. Depression is also a very misunderstood topic. How lucky am I to be blessed with two socially misunderstood conditions. Maybe I’m special!!! 🙂
The big “D” is not my friend, I hate being depressed. Not being able to get yourself to do anything. Feeling like nothing really makes you happy and relying on Fat Bastard Chardonnay to make me feel better.
And now for the whine!
This situation is just so crap. My best friend may announce her second pregnancy on Thursday and I just don’t know if I can handle it. It’s just not fair. I don’t understand why this had to happen to us. In fact, to anyone, it’s so sick.
My greatest fear is that we are going to lose, and I mean loose completely. I can’t cope with the thought of no children. It really really scares me. I really really cannot imagine living without children. What kind of life would that be? It just doesn’t seem to make sense to me. That thought is rejected.
Anyway, what can you do about depression? Nothing. Just wait for it to pass. Blagh!
A Love Beyond Measure 
June 30, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Sian, u know its so ok to be up one day and down the next! Its a perfectly normal reaction to a very shit situation.
If its any consolation this week is a suck ass week for me to, so we can console each other!
July 1, 2009 at 12:44 am
It may be different for me, but if I can manage to get myself off the couch (sometimes really hard) and go for a walk, my mood improves about 95% of the time.
I’m sorry you are feeling depressed. You have good reason to be.
I really think you will find a way to have a child. I wish I could say when and how.
I’ll be sending you good thoughts.
July 1, 2009 at 10:35 am
*hugs* Sian, like Shaz said its ok to be up and then down. These things takes time. I’m still not over mine, or lets say, sometimes I still can’t cope and other days I feel OK. I have found one thing though, crying gives me a hectic headache, so I’m trying to limit those.
July 1, 2009 at 2:49 pm
I can relate to what you are feeling…. I myself am also on anti depressants ( long story family history of depression etc etc.)
Talking about what you are feeling and thinking helps.
I am hear if you need someone to listen