I have been missing my blog. I have always been able to unload and work through my feelings here, but lately I have just been so busy. So busy that I actually feel like I have lost touch with ‘ME’.

The first half of this year has been hectic. I really wanted to take my business to the next level because I am just sick and tired of battling. I love what I do (when I get to do it) and I really want to make it work, but its hard people, so hard. Its hard to secure work and then its a challenge to get paid on time. Running a small business is not for the faint hearted, but I will not throw in the towel just yet! I have put too much into it. Thankfully, the next six months looks promising.

On top of the stress of running a small struggling business I have also had some other issues to deal with which have really added to my stress levels……but I will write about them later…….

Currently, I feel a bit broken. I have no more energy and very little tolerance. I am running on empty and I am not coping!!! (It takes a lot for me to admit that)

Normally, I can take a lot of pressure, and normally I absorb it and get on with it, but lately I honestly feel like I am carrying a boulder. Its not one particular thing that is making me feel this way, its the accumulation of many things. I feel out of control and sad. My self esteem has taken a beating and I have put on 5 kgs. I am so angry with myself for putting on weight, but I also worry that I am putting too much emphasis on the weight instead of tackling the things that have caused me to put on the weight.

I have realized that I need to ask for help, and put in some boundaries. This is not a post about me feeling sorry for myself. This is a post about realizing that I am not being kind to myself. I am not doing the right things to help me refuel and create a sense of balance in my life. I am sure that all of you can identify with this……we push ourselves and we push ourselves and we rarely make time for ourselves. Time for our bodies and our souls to recover and regroup.

For some reason I feel I need to be super woman. I need to just deal with everything myself …….because to ask for help is weak. Anybody identify with this?

This week I am going to be kinder to me. I am going to be good to me.

I need…

To go back to banting and cut out all the crap I have been eating.

Get some exercise.

Read.

Meditate.

Take a long hot bath without any interruptions.

Reconnect with me.

 

More posts to follow.

 

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