So we have officially been on the adoption waiting list for five months now. The time has flown by and to be quite honest, I haven’t lingered on the thought of another baby much at all. People have asked, “Whats happening with the adoption?,” and my answer is always the same, “We are waiting! One day we will get a call and that will be that!”
For me, waiting for number two has been the complete opposite to what I experienced the first time. We waited nine months the first time and I yearned for that call every single day. I was desperate for it to happen and I called our social worker religiously every month to check in. This time around I have had much less contact, in fact I contacted our social worker on whats app for the first time this week since February. This is mostly because she told us that she would prefer for us not to contact her. She assured us that she NEVER forgets about her adoptive parents and that the next time we hear from her would be when she had a match. So I have left it at that.
I have felt quite disconnected second time around, but if I really think about it I may be forced to admit that I am distancing myself from this waiting thing on purpose. I can’t think about it too much because I know that it will start to consume my mind. I will start to think about if our birth mother is pregnant, how far along she is, how she is feeling. I will start to look at baby clothes and dream a little and maybe that reminds me a little too much of the first time.
I received my cousin’s baby shower invite this week and it stung a little…….I think that’s actually why I am writing this post, because its unearthed the feelings that I didn’t really want to feel.
But as we know we could become parents again anytime from now. That call could be around the corner. All in time and on time.
So we continue to wait and keep as busy as we can so we can’t think about it too much.