OK – I’ll admit it! I am depressed.
But who can blame me. It’s been very rough lately.

I do realise that just yesterday my post was positive, but I just know that this is how my depression must be dealt with.  I must get myself up and going before I fall into the deep hole I know so well.

I have lots of experience with depression. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 16 and put on prozac. Since then I have experienced the ups and downs of depression many times. I am and have been on Fluoxetine for a long long time, and believe me I have tried to come off it but I just land up in the same place – depressed. In the pit of blackness where nothing seems exciting and the world is full of gloom and doom.  Depression is also a very misunderstood topic. How lucky am I to be blessed with two socially misunderstood conditions. Maybe I’m special!!! 🙂

The big “D” is not my friend, I hate being depressed. Not being able to get yourself to do anything. Feeling like nothing really makes you happy and relying on Fat Bastard Chardonnay to make me feel better.

And now for the whine!

This situation is just so crap. My best friend may announce her second pregnancy on Thursday and I just don’t know if I can handle it. It’s just not fair. I don’t understand why this had to happen to us. In fact, to anyone, it’s so sick.

My greatest fear is that we are going to lose, and I mean loose completely. I can’t cope with the thought of no children. It really really scares me. I really really cannot imagine living without children. What kind of life would that be? It just doesn’t seem to make sense to me. That thought is rejected.

Anyway, what can you do about depression? Nothing. Just wait for it to pass. Blagh!

Advertisements