So, by now my precious little embryos have implanted….I don’t want to think about the other option, so please zip your lips!
I am still feeling happy and positive, but at this stage a sprinkle of the ‘what if’s’ have set in. Nothing to seriously though.
I have gone a little over the edge in this TWW. I know that some of you are going to think that I have gone completely insane. Maybe I have!!! Who knows!
I seem to have adopted a different approach. I know very well that this is the last time I will have to endure 14 days of torture and so I have decided to make it more enjoyable. I know thats a contradiction in terms, but here is my reasoning.
There is nothing I can do at this stage, our embryos are either going to make it or not. So in order to make the experience a little more pleasant I’ve decided to believe that its a done deal. I don’t know how I have managed to convince myself of that, but I have. So, I have bought myself two pregnancy magazines, AND I allowed my mom to buy me nappies on Saturday!
GASP! HORROR! WHAT! I hear you say……
I would never have dreamed of doing this with the other IVF’s because I always thought that I would jinx it, but this time is different. I feel different about it. I think that it may be because it is the last. I figure if this doesn’t work then this TWW is the closest I’ll ever get to being pregnant and so I’m enjoying the feeling. That feeling of being special, the feeling that I felt when I actually WAS pregnant. I want to treasure that and I want to hang on to THAT SPECIAL AWESOME FEELING for as long as I can.
Will I feel silly for doing this if our test is negative?
No! I’ve already decided on it, because there will be a child! Whether I carry it into this world through a pregnancy or if we become parents through the miracle of adoption. So those nappies will be used and so will those baby clothes that I keep hidden in a draw……I’ll tell you a secret, I’ve taken more than a few peaks at them as well.
Otherwise, I have been emotional and moody. I was thinking about throwing something at my husband earlier today because he asked me to take him through to the East Rand. His car is in for a service in that area. The discussion was finally settled when he agreed with my idea to take the Gau.train instead! Woman are always right during an IVF, ALWAYS!
Symptom wise…………do we really care! does it make a difference at this stage. It could be progesterone and it could be stress, who knows. I have had a feeling of sometimes being ‘off balance’ and if I stand up too quickly I feel a little dizzy. I’m not sure if this is a side effect of the fragmin. It’s doesn’t bother me to much, so I am just dealing with it. I also have the extreme tiredness, which is definitely the progesterone and the usual br.east aches. And I feel like eating everything, but this could be comfort eating.
So bring on next Tuesday! I have tried to convince my hubby to test on Monday but he really wants to wait so I’ll respect his wishes. We are taking the day off and spending it doing something nice – No matter what happens. I guess I’ll either be having wine or appletizer with lunch.
I am not going to POAS at all! I have thrown away all preganacy tests in the house, so we will truely only know when we do the beta on Tuesday morning. I don’t like those things. They just freak me out so I am staying away!!
Thanks for all your sms’s and wishes. They mean so much! They really really do!
To end off….I am so happy for Chopper. Her miracle has been granted and I wish her and her hubby all the best!!
July 6, 2010 at 6:34 pm
What an awesome place you’re in and your attitude is fantastic!!! Keep up the good vibes and you will be blessed with your miracle, you will.
Hang in there and wise choice of not POAS! I was thinking about that today and wondering if I would. I decided I have to see that positive test at least once… BUT.. I will do it AFTER the bloods! hee hee hee… when i know for sure there is a bun in the oven.
Good luck hun I’m sending plenty positive vibes your way and so looking forward to hear your results and read your updates.
You’re doing great!
xxx
July 7, 2010 at 7:42 am
Sjoe – you are brave. Hold onto this feeling as long as possible as the 2ww crazies set in good and proper. And tell hubby to wear a crash helmet so you can have the satisfaction of watching somethign sail through the air at him the next time he wants you to drive across town!
I am holding onto hope with you honey – and really hoping the last six sleeps to test day fly by.
July 7, 2010 at 9:52 am
I think it’s great. Eff it if people think it’s wierd. No matter what you do during the 2ww, you can’t protect yourself from the sadness if the outcome is negative, so why not enjoy and make the most of it? I really like your way of thinking actually, and I might just do the same during my 2ww! Anyway I think you have little triplies settling in there 🙂 so you are going to need all the nappies you can find!
July 7, 2010 at 10:31 am
Wow you are doing brilliantly!!! Good for you on stocking up on nappies and taking a peek at those clothes. I pray your miracle is around the corner and I cannot wait to see the chaos in cyberspace when you announce your BFP 🙂 There seems to be so much good news going on in the blogging world of IF’ers, you will surely be next!
May the next 6 days fly by so you can hear news of your big fat BETA and have the sweetest appletizer ever on Tuesday next week 🙂
July 7, 2010 at 12:44 pm
You are doing excellently honey.
And there is no such thing as jinxing it – the fact is that it’s worked 🙂 (with you on the whole denial of the other thing that won’t be mentioned…)
Thinking of you and hoping and praying like mad for you and DJ.
xxx
July 7, 2010 at 1:35 pm
You are doing so well hun – who cares what and why…just go with the flow! I LOVE your attitude – no matter what happens..you will be a mom soon! But….but but but…sending those little embies so much love and light and may they stick right where they landed – ALL 3!!!!! Woohooo…hang in until Tuesday :)xx
July 7, 2010 at 2:25 pm
i also love that you will be a mom regardless! Good luck.
July 7, 2010 at 8:55 pm
You go girl!!!!!
Can you feel it????? It is here!
I love your attitude – will be counting the days and hours with you. Ooh I am so excited to hear your news.
July 8, 2010 at 9:14 am
Thinking of you.
I am fully supporting you on your 2ww attitude, it is the best one and the you will never regret it…
July 9, 2010 at 7:02 am
You are in SUCH an incredible frame of mind! I’m right there with you on this one! Be the one! Be the one! BE THE ONE!!!!!
lots of love
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