My mom told me a story yesterday that got me thinking again. A friend of hers has a niece that has just received awful news. She finally fell pregnant on her seventh IVF and they have discovered that their baby is anencephalic. If you watched the last season of Private Practice you will know what anencephaly is, it’s absolutely heartbreaking. I got thinking about why these things happen and I keep coming back to the same conclusion.

People have asked me if I think that Jayden is the reason that we went through our infertility journey and to be honest I don’t believe that there is a reason. I also feel that it’s unfair to put that burden on any human being. In saying that Jayden is the reason it implies that a lot of people had to go through a lot of pain for him to exist and I simply don’t think that is fair on him. Our journey through infertility is part of our story. It’s something that I went through and I own it! I know that it is nice and fluffy to think these things in order to make sense of a crappy situation, but sometimes there really isn’t an answer. It is what it is!

Sure, I have grown and changed as a result of my infertility, but it is as a result, its not the reason. Sure, I had to go through the journeys which lead me to Jayden, but he isn’t the reason at the end of the journey. He is a new wonderful chapter after a long sad story. The old cliché ‘everything happens for a reason’ has never worked for me, because I simply can’t think of a good enough REASON for my infertility.

Why do woman miscarry?

One of my friends lost her baby around 40 weeks. There is no reason for that.

Is there a reason why after seven IVF’s this couple receive this devastating news? I can’t think of a good enough reason for that.

I may seem negative in my thinking, but it really is the only way I have gotten past my infertility.

What do you think?