I don’t know why, maybe I like to plan ahead, but my mind keeps wondering back to the topic of a second child. I know that we will make the decision when the time comes, but I keep wondering about ‘what if?’ and ‘will we?’ Sometimes, I feel a little greedy thinking about it and I know this comes from the infertile that will always live in me. After so many years of praying and longing that little voice that says,
“you are lucky to have one perfect little boy, and now you want another???”
“What did I hear you mention a girl, what is wrong with you???”
It’s a big decision to make and
deep not so deep down I think that we will adopt again.
- I would love Jayden to have a sibling. I never really experienced this because my brother is seven years younger than me and my husband’s siblings are way older than him. I was never lonely as a child because I have a very close group of cousins, but those cousins were kind of like my siblings. I would like Jayden to have that.
- I like the idea of a family four. It kind of fits nicely doesn’t it?
- We have the love in our hearts and the space in our house.
But my worries are;
1. We won’t be able to give Jayden as much financially if we add to our family. There will be less overseas holidays and sacrifices will have to be made.
2. Will it put unbearable strain on our relationship? I know that one child has added a new dynamic, so what will it be like with two. I have also heard people say that it is easier the second time around.
3. Will a second baby be as perfect and wonderful and special as Jayden is? I know, it sounds terrible to say it out loud, but I have heard other moms voice the same worry.
Ideally I would like to get back on the list when Jayden is two. Notice that I say I, most of this has just been decided in my mind; allow I have mentioned it to hubby. 🙂 Whether we will be ready by then, I really don’t know…….. But I suppose time will tell.