Jayden is just over five months at the moment – I can’t believoe how quickly that went. In a month or so I’ll have to pack away 0-3mnth outfits and move on to the next size. I had a look at our six month clothes the other day and I remember commenting on how I couldn’t imagine him fitting into them, and now I can’t believe he was small enough for newborn clothes.

We have been working on developing a good sleep routine, especially for bedtime. A couple of weeks ago  bedtime caused me instant anxiety. Some nights were ok and others involved rocking and screaming for an hour. I couldn’t stand it, and I was am worried that I am not teaching Jayden to self soothe and go to sleep by himself.  So we decided to try some sleep training……It didn’t go well. Neither of us could last an entire five minutes listening to him cry, its like torture……isn’t there a gentler way to do this. So our half  hearted attempt at sleep training lasted two nights. Bedtime isn’t causing me as much anxiety as it did before, it seems to have gotten better and I am trying to limit the rocking. Although I think there is either rocking or no rocking, it is still not teaching him to self soothe. We have been trying a later bath followed by a bottle, a book and then bed with Mr bedtime bear. It seems to be calmer, but still involves some crying followed by crying and rocking. I think I will see what sleep sense says and try that……

We have also started to introduce solids. I have started with a bit of rice cereal for breakfast and it is going quite well. I think it is actually more fun for us than him. Its just so special watching your child discover new things.

We are on our fourth non smoking day and its actually going quite well. I feel determined at this stage and so I think I have the right mindset this time. The last time we tried we lasted a week, but my excuse was that it was during the sixty days – which are pretty stressful. Now, I have no excuse, I just have to do it!!! The Zyban is making me very sleepy and today I have palpatations which are very annoying. I may reduce my dose to one and see how that goes.

And lastly….things with the nanny. Since our chat with her last week things have been fine. There hasn’t been anything for me to really complain about. I’m still on the fence, but I am trying to work out whether I am being unreasonable in my thinking or not. He is not in any danger and she does cuddle with him and play with him. Am I expecting her to be a clone of me? I don’t know, time will tell and I will see if there is a further improvement after she has gone on the course

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