I have got so much to write about, but I just can’t seem to get the words out of my head. Jayden is 16 weeks old already and I just can’t believe how fast it has gone. He has changed my life in so many positive ways and I am honoured to be his mom.

I have to go back to work soon and I am really really dreading it. I wish I could stay at home with him forever and not have to worry about money……but the reality is that I can’t and I have to start to focus on what I am going to do with myself this year. I have noticed lots of bloggers talking about thier word for the year, so here is mine…….

As in……

I need to be inspired and find inspiration in my life this year.

This is really more of a long time project than a goal and it effects all elements of my life. Its really about change! Ive have found that over the las four months I have really had to look at the parts of my life that I don’t like and come up with a serious plan to change them. I’ve taken a long hard look at what bugs me….and to be honest I have been moaning about it for years!!! But its taken the transition from infertile me to mommy me to actually do something about it.

Work is the main problem…..I feel like I have had the same year of experience over and over again, and I’m just not breaking through and moving forward. This is one of the flaws of running your own business. Your first focus is to get by and pay yourself a salary every month. Learning, growth and inspiration really take a back seat and you find yourself stagnant. This is what I have got to get past so I can indulge in some inspiration and learning.

Jayden plays a huge part in the bigger picture. One of the benefits of running your own business is that I don’t have a boss, which means I am in charge of my time and how I use it. This will allow me loads more time with Jayden than if I had a full time job and I really want to make it work so that I can take advantage of that. That thought on its own inspires me to get inspired!!!!

And so that brings me to my biggest dilemma …… Who will look after my son while I work? Initially I was going to train my domestic worker to look after him, but the more I think about it, the more uncomfortable I get. I had a nice chat about it with my mom yesterday and decided that I may investigate a day mother. Someone who has a small group of babies and is close to home. I’m just concerned that I won’t be able to ‘switch off’ and really focus on work. I can see myself constantly going to to check on him and stepping in when I hear him cry.

So, I’m thinking …..Day Mother for half the day and I can really put my head down…..and then baby snuggles for the second half of the day.

Any input is welcome. I’m working with ideas at the moment.

Edited to add: I’ve changed my mind again. My maid shows so much interest in looking after Jayden that I am going to try it out. I’ll show her what I like and try to just focus and make it work. I really can’t find a single day mother that I think is suitable either……Thanks everyone for the input.