There is a post in me that needs to get out. I need to say this because its been on my mind since we made the decision to close the book on infertility treatment and move on towards adoption. I might get some controvertial reactions, but who cares, I’m putting it out there.
I have noticed that lots of ladies that are still in the trenches of IVF or have conceived through IVF often encourage others by saying ‘don’t give up.’ ‘Success story’s are told with the punch line, – Don’t give up!, but is it really about not giving up or is it just meant to happen. Now I know that this is said with the best intentions. Its said so that we can encourage each other and give support, but what does the phrase mean for those who have moved on from fertility treatment. There is a subtle implication that we have given up. I know its not meant to come across that way, but if you REALLY think about it….it does.
So I ask myself – Have I given up? Its sounds so negative to me. Like I wasn’t strong enough to carry on, or that there is an underlying expectation in the IVF world to carry on and carry on with treatment after treatment until it works. Is that realistic??? Not for all of us, no.
The reality is that fertility treatment will not work for all of us. Some of us will simply – NEVER BE PREGNANT. So by making the decision to stop what sometimes begins to feel like madness….are we giving up. Or are we just moving on?