So I guess I should tell you about our update. We went for our second appointment with our SW on Friday and everything went really well. It was really simple actually, she went into a bit of background on each of us; where we went to school, what are our interests etc. We have also been given loads and loads of homework and then mounds of paper work to complete. We now have to go and have our medicals completed and then we can continue. I am coming to realize that this is a process and I am not banking anything happening very quickly, which is ok with me for now.

I think that my expectations for this process are realistic. I am willing to go with the flow, moving along with what we have to do as swiftly as possible. I’m not expecting miracles. I know that we have all witnessed adoption miracles of late, but I am not assuming that our adoption will be the same. We may wait years for this too happen. I really hope we don’t……but I am not banking on anything under a year wait. Sjoe, saying that makes me nervous!! One step at a time, one step at a time.

In the mean time I am trying to work on myself and moving into a different space. The thing about adoption is that you can start to look at your life differently. It is no longer about the next IVF and if it works, its about WHEN we get our baby, and that is so freeing for me. I have chatted to two friends about their adoption experiences and they have both said the same thing…..You are now an expectant mom! You just don’t know how long, but there is no more IF and a lot more WHEN. This has started to heal me and to allow me to have hope.  I’ve started to do things that I never would if I was doing an IVF and it feels good.

I’ve started to type out a list of who I would like at my ‘Welcome to the world Baby Shower”

I bought one Nuk dummy

My mom bought a lovely fluffy blanket and two baby grows.

I have started to put together a list of what we need for the first two to four weeks. A list of the essentials.

I am happy! I am so happy that I don’t have to heal myself emotionally so I am ready for the next IVF. I am working on doing that in my own time. This feels right, for us, and I can’t believe how on board my husband is. From someone who would not even talk about adoption he is on board 100%.

CIao my lovelies!!!