So here I sit at Cape Town airport waiting to board my flight back to Lanseria. I am SO grumpy and I would really love to completely withdraw from the world. I’m currently recovering from some really hectic flu, which has made me feel even worse emotionally and I have another two Soc.cer Wo.rld Cu.p sessions this week where I have to find the energy somewhere to teach the Dis.ki Da.nce.

I’m walking around like a bear with a very sore head and I honestly feel very very fragile. I am surprised at how emotionally weak I am this time around. Last cycle I was so pumped up . I had my pom poms out and the ‘rainbow farts’, (c) Sam, were plentiful. This time I can barely manage a smile. It’s taking a lot of effort.

I started the count down to this cycle at eight weeks and promised myself that I was going to exercise and loose weight and blah bah blah blah blah….. Has any of it happened…….noooooooooo! And we have five weeks to go. I haven’t been particularly unhealthy, but I haven’t been super healthy either. Thank goodness I don’t have to prepare any eggs!!! (said with laughter and a small tear)

At this point, as in right now….I don’t have the energy. I just need to get through this. I AM feeling a lot more open to the idea and I actually can’t wait for things to finally get going, but I’m not in a super efficient-healthy-healthy-healthy-jump around with your pom pom space. Rather, I’m in a tread very carefully- one day at a time space. And I guess that is fine. There is not much else I can do.

……except have a very quiet hope.

Advertisements