I have an announcement…..I’m feeling better.
My birthday has passed, my crappy anniversary has past, Mothers day has past and I have conquered the first hectic week of stopping smoking.
I feel fluffier, happier and in much better spirits. I’m even starting to dream a little about that BFP I might get, but I’ll go slowly on that one. I know that it is good to be positive, but I also know that being positive isn’t going to make the difference between a BFP or a BFN! So I’ll get there slowly, one step at a time, being as positive as I feel comfortable with!
I spent some time today just thinking about all the plans and decisions we have made. By the end of the year we will either be pregnant or on a waiting list for our baby, and that actually sound pretty good to me. I am almost comforted (at this stage) when I think that this is the LAST time we are doing this. I so badly want this IVF to work, but I can’t possibly think of doing another one if it doesn’t. The thought of saying enough and putting our name down for adoption makes me feel a bit more relaxed.
The path of doing of treatment after treatment has become very tiresome. That road brings hurt and pain with only a small glimpse of success, a maybe and an if only. Its too much and it has to end sometime for everyone.
Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I feel that we have a plan that will bring us a child. We may get our positive in July …..or we may become parents through adoption. Either way THERE WILL BE A CHILD! And that brings a smile to my lips and a glow to my heart.