So, I’m six days into quit ville and I am still going strong. I feel very strong and haven’t had too many cravings at all. It’s like I have switched the will to smoke off. BTW, I do not mean to be condescending here at all, I know it is very difficult to stop smoking and that the cravings can be INSANE! Maybe I’ll have more when I return to JHB. Seriously I really don’t want to sound like a know it all ex smoker! They are very irritating!

Treatment wise, I have noticed a different approach to this cycle, and I’m finding it difficult to describe. Maybe the word is passionate, or is it more like aggressive, I’m not sure, but let me try to explain. When I took my first BCP I felt quite relaxed about the when and where of this cycle. I have two packs of BCP, so I could very easily wait till after I come back from Lagos for my depot Lucrin. Now I’m thinking, lets do depot Lucrin before I go to Lagos so that I can get on that estrogen and do transfer shortly after I am back. I just feel like this must happen now. Maybe it is because I have had to wait and postpone so the excitement (or what ever it is) has kicked in.

The subject of travel has come up again. It looks like I may have an opportunity to do some offshore training in April/March. My reaction – Screw it lets do it! The FET will NOT be rescheduled, I have waited long enough! If I am pregnant I’ll do the work if my doc says it is fine. It’s not long haul travel (Two hour flights) so I don’t think there will a problem, but if there is someone else will have to do it.

I almost feel like, a protective mother! It’s almost like I feel defensive and aggressive toward anyone or anything that suggests that this FET be moved! I actually don’t feel completely comfortable with that comparison, but it is the only thing that comes to mind right now.

So this is me at this stage of the game. Like a warrior going to war…..I also have a feeling that I’m going to win.