Yesterday afternoon I went to go and visit my BFF. She is currently pregnant and I haven’t had a decent visit with her for so long due to my very busy life at the moment.
About three weeks ago she went for her eleven week scan and discovered that one of the twins she was carrying had not made it. An extremely bitter moment coupled with gratitude that the other baby is doing well.
Yesterday was the first time that I got to chat to her properly about her feelings. It just broke my heart to see her speak about the experience. “It was very difficult” she said with so much pain and sadness. And at that moment Miss Infertile me had no clue what to say. I had a taste of what it feels like to be on the other side of horrible news. I want to take it all away for her. I want to go back and DO SOMETHING to change things.
As infertiles we often feel that we have felt it all! Sometimes we can be arrogant about our hurt. The anger takes over and makes us unapproachable, a closed book that no one dare open because they don’t understand us. And then I’m reminded that the people who truly care for us FEEL IT too. They can never experience the pain we feel in the same way, but they feel a different kind.
Thank-you to all those on the other side of my journey. Soon we will all celebrate the end of this and I know you will feel my joy as intensely as you have felt my pain.