Over the past week I have asked the opinion of nearly everyone I know and I think I am closer to a decision. In the mean time I have been irritating myself by going back and forth between the two.

At the beginning of my appointment at the clinic on Wednesday I was pretty sure that we were going go ahead with a Nov/Dec FET, by the end I was totally confused. The reason for my confusion was that I asked my co-coordinator if it would be okay to fly in my first trimester. This is because I have a confirmed trip to Dubai in February next year that I won’t really be able to cancel. She reckons that it is perfectly safe in a physical sense, however it may not be such a good idea mentally.

What if…..

I start bleeding before I go. I can’t cancel the trip I will have to go ahead with it.

OR

I start bleeding while I am there.

My miscarriage has left me in a very sensitive place. If I get my BFP again I’m going to want to wrap myself in cotton wool and retreat into my cave. So I’m not sure if a trip to Dubai is such a good idea when I’m in that state of mind. I am leaning towards waiting and doing transfer as soon as I get back.

I am also leaning towards this postponement because of all the stress and change I’m experiencing at the moment. I’m sure it would be better for my state of mind if I had moved office, been to the CCMA ( YES DEARS!) and stabilized the business. I’m pretty sure a BFN or miscarriage would push me over the edge if I didn’t wait out the storm.

So for now, my gut is telling me WAIT!

I know that there is never a good time, but I seriously don’t feel comfortable with doing this right now. What is a month or two?

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