So I’m here! And will be here for the next two weeks.

I caught up on some girly movies on the plane. Marley and Me, Bride Wars and the Changeling. I enjoyed them all and really had to control my laugh out load moments during Marley and Me. Thier dog reminds me so much of my bully when he was a puppy.DSC00605

For those of you who have not seen Changeling yet, it is an absolute MUST SEE! I must admit very disturbing, but also very thought provoking. Angelina Jolie’s performance is excellent.

Anyway, I am here to deliver soft-skills training to the staff of two hotels in Burj Dubai. A colleague and I did the opening training for the same hotels in 2005/2006 and most of the staff are still here so I get a real warm welcome whenever I visit.  They all call me ‘Miss Sian” which I find quite sweet, even though that is probably the way they greet everyone. The staff in the two hotels are made up of forty nationalities which makes training delivery challenging as well as very interesting. The great thing about the staff here is that they LOVE coming to training and they bring great energy with them, which makes it easier to keep your energy up.

It’s Ramadan here at the moment. The spirit of Ramadan is quite special. You can feel the spirit of reflection and peace. In theory the hotel should be quieter, but they are still running at a high occupancy. Which is good for them.

I really have a love/hate relationship with this place. There are good things about it and I know I should not complain because I get to travel and the work experience adds to my CV. The problem is that I so want to be at home with our child, or at home growing our child. When I got off the plane and walked through customs I was reminded of my last trip here. My mindset was different then, I was preparing for my IVF and feeling really positive. Now I am reminded of the reasons why I could make this trip in the first place. I am supposed to be at home pregnant, but I’m not and that makes me so sad.

The desire for a child has grown so strong over the years. I remember travelling when we first started trying, the depth of sadness and loss was never this great. In those days I told myself that soon I would not be able to do this, so I should enjoy it while it lasted. It even served as a distraction in the times that we simply could not try because we couldn’t afford it. It’s all changed now, it doesn’t feel right for me to be here.

Reality check feelings aside: I am here and I have to keep focused. Before I know it November will be here and we’ll be trying again.