ARGH!
The tenderness is here. I hate it when this happens.
I was okay for most of the week, but last night I had a real FREAK-OUT! It’s the “What if this doesn’t work” FREAK-OUT.

I am sure that you all know what I mean. The worst thing about times like these is that noone really knows what to do with you.

It all started when I left work. I felt a little teary in the car and by the time I got to my friends house I was in tears. Thankfully she is a REALLY close friend so she gave me a huge hug and we chatted a bit until I felt better. DJ and I stayed for a braai, and on the way home I just broke down. I sobbed in my car the entire way home. DJ had NO clue what to do with me. Until I actually told him to just give me a hug. This was followed by a very restless nights sleep.

On chatting to my mom this morning I realised that this feeling was probably due to a number of things.
1. Hormones.
2. The stress that goes with an IVF.
3. Waiting around to hear something from the clinic.
4. The recent BFN’s that my friends have recieved.

I just want someone to promise me that it will work. I feel so out of control at the moment. I will probably feel much better once I have heard from the clinic and I klnow how many follies we have. This waiting is torture.

The good news is that I spent the morning with some wonderful woman from our forum. All of them know about the pain and the longing associated with infertility. It is always so soothing for my soul to chat to woman like these.

It really made me feel better gals. Thanks!

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