Okay, so tomorrow I will get some information on my donor. YAY!

And we will probably get final dates etc. I’ll know if I must continue on my white little pills (BCP) or go to the placebos!! EEEEEKKK!

If we go for the placebos it means ….here we go!!

If we carry on with the white pills……hang on a little longer.

For me I’m not fussed.

I am feeling very calm about all of this. I just know that everything will unravel as it is suposed to. Everything is in God’s hands. This has been a very difficult concept for me to grasp. At the begining of this journey I was angry at God. I refused to pray. I even got to a point where I completly turned my back on him. But he has pulled me back and confirmed that he will give us a child, and I believe.

I feel different this time, and I know that it doesn’t mean that it will be positive. But I feel that I have more of a positive force guiding me. Those close to me, my best friend, my mom, my dad and of course my husband are cheering for me constantly. They have been my strength in getting to this point. Which has been really really great. They care by showing how positive they are that this is going to work, but also by letting me have my ‘what if it doesn’t work’ moments…….and suporting me in them.

I’m excited and feel very blessed to have this opportunity. Step by step we have made our way here.

Two years off – time to grieve the loss of my eggs.

Meeting  the girls on FC – Finally a confirmation that I am not alone.

Slowly slowly gaining understanding and hope.

Now I know that I seem very positive and cheery! And I know that some may feel that I am too posititve and cheery. But I must be, I have been keeping this feeling bottled up for too long, trying to protect myself. But no more I am loosing control. It has begun, the happiness is flowing. I’m gonna throw caution to the wind and go with it!!!!

We’ll deal with everything one step at a time.

PS – I had the flu, and I am feeling much better now!!!

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