Yesterday’s post got me thinking. Actually, it made me feel sad.
I really am a strong person (I promise), but the situation I described yesterday has shaken me a little. When I got back to my hotel room last night I had a large cry, which has made me feel a lot better today, but brought a whole lot of unresolved feelings to the surface. These feelings definitely come from my youth, and I would definitely say that they have shaped my view of men in the present day. I’m not going to share details of the past with you as the experience I refer to was horrible and I am WILL not open myself up for criticism or blame. What I can say is that ‘IT’ involved a man taking what he thought he deserved from me, subsequently changing my views on men drastically.
You don’t have to understand what I am saying; just listen to my point of view. My question is, why do some men think that you should be complimented by their attention? I do not have to be flattered because you find me attractive. A woman has the right to remain ‘quietly beautiful’ inside and outside and be admired and appreciated from a distance. She does not NEED you to tell her that she is appealing to you. It is not your right as a man to loudly air your views on this matter. I understand that amongst your friends you may discuss your likes and dislikes – as men do. But I feel that a REAL man will subtly test the waters before he jumps in. And if he is arrogant enough to jump in, he needs to get the hell out, if the water proves itself to be cold. None of your manipulation is going to make that water warmer.
I can’t stand the idea that woman want or need to be complimented by a man. That we have such a low sense of self that we need to be blatantly told that we are beautiful. Yes it is nice to be acknowledged, but is it really that difficult to know where the boundaries are?
Men, you have a responsibility! You hold our trust and our sense of safety in your hands. This gives you power, don’t abuse it! A real man makes a woman feel like she is in control. He makes her feel protected, but never does he make her feel weak! He admires from a distance and takes his cues wisely.
Now I know that some of you are thinking ‘Yeah, right!’ Boys will be boys and men will be men! And I do agree with you. But there is a time and a place for all types of behaviour. Conditions have to assessed and considered.
I can’t stomach aggressive men. I can’t!
Anyone got anything to add?