I have something that is really getting under my skin. And I know that it will be resolved in some form tomorrow, but I have to express how I feel. Let me know if this makes any sense.

The question is on business etiquette. Now I consider myself to be a polite and respectful person. I normally avoid conflict and try to handle situations in a mature and amicable manner. However once in a while I get pushed over the edge and I explode. Now I just need to know……..what is the appropriate way to explode. Because I am battling with the concept.

I’m not sure that I want to share the exact circumstances, but the basic concept is. How can you work with someone (I’m taking business partners, not work colleagues) without sharing the same values and beliefs. And if you realise that you don’t share the same beliefs and you address the situation in a polite and respectful way…………over…………..and…………….over…………….AGAIN! When is it okay to be brutally honest (explode) and see if that makes a difference.

Let me give you a senario. You and I have decided to start a sweet shop. We have discussed it at great length and you have assured me that you know lots and lots and lots of people who will buy the sweets. I have assured you that I have acess to lots and lots of delicious sweets. So we agree that a great partnership MUST be formed and we go ahead with the agreement. I immediatly start to work very very hard at finding these sweets and you continue to assure me that customers will soon be available to by the sweets.

Although, you never actually send me any customers, and I never seems to have any comunication from you. So I politely sit you down and explain my concern. In response you supply me with the contact numbers of a few people you know. So I call them, take thier orders, negotiate pricing……….. and what do you know they love the sweets,Happy days!

But hang on wait……you still want you 50% of the profit. And you see absolutely no reason why you should not get it. I end up feeling used, angry and unsupported. So how should I react to you now. Should I sit you down and politely tell you that I feel this way, or should I just tell you exactly how I am feeling.

When is it time to stop beating around the bush and tell people how it is.

So my problem is that….I did! I told it like it is, and the reponse was a defensive one. Was I wrong? Should I have said it in a more polite way. If you can see that a business relationship is not a good fit, how do you end it, or express yourself and still come out ‘clean’.